Raised in the church and one who is fairly conforming, I easily responded to this question as a young child and teenager with the answer: Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior. Supposedly, with that answer, I had a free ticket to heaven and the approval of my parents. I also understood that the answer carried with it the presupposition that I would follow a set of rules and a moral code. The answer seemed quite easy to tell you the truth.
But, when I was a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child, but when I became an adult, I had to really wonder what my original answer meant for my life.
Jesus asked this question in Ceasarea-Phillipi, the cultic worship space of the Greek god, Pan. Pan was the god of panic and confusion. If you were a good religious Greek and were going into battle, you would call upon Pan to shake up your enemy with anxiety and lack of focus so you could beat him or her.
In the place dedicated to confusion, Jesus asks this clarifying question: Who do you say I am?
Confusion and panic reign in our culture. There are so many choices about so many things, many of us zone out and decide not to decide. Just this morning on NPR, I heard that 1/5 of the American population is not affiliated with any religion. These people are called "NONEs." They are not atheists nor are they theists. They are just undecided and want to stay that way.
Pluralism has given us the opportunity to rub elbows with people from other cultures, religions and experiences. We no longer have the luxury of living in homogeneous societies that support our belief system. Ideas and mores which were once "obvious" are now questioned. And perhaps that is a good thing.
Before Jesus asks this question, he asks, "Who do others say I am?" This question is much simpler to answer. Some say Jesus was a great teacher with some great ideas. Some say he was a prophet like Muhammad or Buddha. Some say he was an anarchist, a rebel. Some say he is one of many options as one is choosing a "personal god." Some say he is irrelevant. Some say he is everything. Some call him "Lord." Some call him "Savior." Some say he was the Jewish messiah. Some love him and live their whole lives dedicated to him. Some loath him. Some die for him still today.
But when Jesus turns the question to me and says, "Who do you say I am?" the answer is not so simple. I have a history of creedal formulas like, "Jesus is Lord of all!" "Jesus is my Lord and Savior." "Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the Living God." I have hymns and worship songs which give me answers like, "Jesus is my Friend." "Jesus is King of Kings." And I have scripture: "Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life." "Jesus is the firstborn of all creation." "Jesus is my crucified and risen Lord."
But all those titles have a lot of unpacking to do. Words like Lord, Christ, King, Way, Truth and Life would take a lifetime to explore.
Although I believe all the creedal, hymnic and scriptural phrases about Jesus, for me, it is easier to talk about Jesus realistically and experientially.
Who do I say Jesus is?
Jesus was the one who sat by my side when I was learning scripture and made my heart warm. Jesus still does this for me, showing me things I've never seen before in ancient texts.
Jesus comforted me when I was a senior in high school and didn't get a date to the prom or the lead in the musical. Jesus was my faithful friend when others couldn't be.
Jesus took me on adventures through meadows and forests and pointed out all the lovelies therein. Jesus whispered to me some pretty amazing insights and showed me many wonders.
Jesus guides me along my path, giving me clarity and purpose. Encouraging me in bravery when I want to be a coward. Pushing me to kindness instead of resentment and bitterness.
Jesus showed me that love is not about feeling good and warm in myself, but making hard choices to stick with and even sacrifice one's life for the good and sake of another. Jesus promises me that if I live this way, all will work out one day, even if I never live to see it.
Jesus was with me when I struggled through cancer. He gave me hope one day when he opened the ceiling of my hospital room and showed me heaven. He let me experience complete love and joy and peace. He told me not to worry about my life because all would be well.
Jesus held my hand and caught all my tears when I was mourning over all the griefs of life--lost dreams and disappointments, deep sorrows and loneliness. He whispered peace into my ear which blanketed me in a way I can't explain.
Jesus gives my life all its purpose. He is more real to me than anything or anyone in this world. He has and continues to give me great gifts more valuable than anything material.
Who do I say Jesus is?
Jesus is my everything.
And the one thing I am not confused about.
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