When I listen to the news, I become so overwhelmed with the violence.
It seems unthinkable that someone's anger, frustration and disappointments would lead to such mass destruction of life. In our own minds we might ask, "What was that person thinking?"
As I open up "my" book, I hear the question from Jesus, "Why do you harbor evil thoughts?"
My brain gets stuck on that word "harbor." I think of a safe place in a cove free from the buffeting winds and waves, a place of rest. Then again, I think of giving a home or shelter to someone or something, and it leads me to the thought of secrecy and care.
As I apply these definitions to this question, the depth and profound probing of this question startles me. Why does anyone give refuge, secret care and hospitality to evil thinking?
Each one of us has a secret internal life of thoughts, dreams, fantasies and schemes. There are some of those secrets I am willing to share with someone in whom I have trust. There are other secret thoughts I must deny attention or discipline and correct. I know the power of my thoughts. Proverbs 23:7 states, "As one thinks in the heart, so he is."
My thought life controls my attitudes, my demeanor, my actions, my relationships, my influence, my emotions. Thus, it is very important to answer Jesus' question; why would I give harbor to; why would I ponder and give strength to; why would I allow time for or consider evil in my heart?
Evil.
When I was in seminary trying to memorize Greek vocabulary, one of the words for the week was the Greek word for evil--πονηρός--poneros, pronounced po-nay-ros. My study group was doing everything in its power to help us with memorization and came up with the phrase "if someone would roast a pony, that would truly be evil."
It would be evil to roast a pony, I thought, as I recalled raising horses in my youth and having a sweet pony who would pull a cart, delighting many children. The only reason I could think of anyone "roasting a pony" would be if they needed it for food.
As my Greek studies deepened, I realize the original Greek word for evil implied "poverty" which led to feelings of sorrow, unfitness, worthlessness which budded into harmful, contrary and wrongful behavior producing the fruit of violence.
Perhaps our silly way of memorizing Greek was not that far from the truth.
What would change in our thinking if, when an evil or mean or thoughtless or judgmental thought crossed our minds, we would ask ourselves, "What poverty in me is leading me down this path of thinking?" What lack, what need, what scarcity or insufficiency allows this thought to be nurtured, cared for, secretly hidden and catered to?
Harbored.
What am I so mad about? What am I trying to justify about myself? What am I trying to rationalize? What brokenness, wound or pain is being touched? What is being comforted or fed by the nursing of this evil thought? What scares me? What is frightening me? What is rising up within me to protect what little I have hoarded for myself? What am I afraid to share because I gluttonously feel I must keep stored and hidden?
Why do I harbor evil thoughts?
Why do I?
Because somewhere inside of me, I am empty.
I am empty, and I would rather fill the emptiness with the poison of evil than patiently hope and wait to be filled with good.
Scripture tells us there is a great banquet available for our thought world to fill this emptiness, this poverty. The menu of "food for thought" is handed to us in Philippians 4:8.
"Whatever is TRUE, whatever is HONORABLE, whatever is RIGHT, whatever is PURE, whatever is LOVELY, whatever is of GOOD REPUTE, if there is any EXCELLENCE and if anything is WORTH OF PRAISE, let your mind GIVE HARBOR TO these things."
Violence is filling the poverty and emptiness of many people's hearts.
Perhaps a first step toward wiping out the poverty and violence of our culture is to answer Jesus' question. It will take great courage to ask myself, "Why do I harbor evil thoughts?" Where is my poverty? What banquet food is available to feed my emptiness?
And then, as we sit and listen to evil thoughts which others spill out in angry rhetoric or violent acts, maybe we will be able to hear with new ears, see with new eyes and respond with new actions to those around us.
Good question, Jesus. Thank you for asking.
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